Ugh.

I have decided that trying to eat right is just too hard. But, I won’t quit. NEVER!

On a daily basis, I start out doing really well.  Take yesterday for example. I started off with my bowl of Cheerios with the rest of the low-fat milk. Felt great, ate a late lunch when I was feeling a little peckish. I ate a healthy lunch — some cottage cheese with tomatoes and bell pepper and a nectarine for dessert.

I was feeling super-proud of myself.

Dinner plans changed and I really wasn’t prepared. I was tired and had a lot of schoolwork to do, so I wanted something fast and easy. Pizza seemed like a good answer. We ordered two pizzas: a pepperoni and sausage and a veggie. I had four slices…I felt really guilty, and then really full, and then sleepy.

More than anything, I feel like a failure. Pizza wasn’t an experiment like the cheesesteak, it was just gluttony on my part. It made me feel like a fraud. My husband always reminds me that it is OK to fail, and making the right choices on food is one of things that I am going to fail at, from time to time.

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So I have made a decision about something…it isn’t going to be popular at work.

I’m going to decommission the Chocolate Jar until Halloween. At that time, I will re-evaluate the Chocolate Jar’s role on both my desk and in the newsroom. It may only make appearances during holidays, or simply not come back.

It is a harsh decision. But last weekk with the nuts showed me that it isn’t in the best insterst of my goals to change eating habits or even that of my co-workers. One newsroom employee commented last week that he figured he had lost weight since I stopped filling the jar. He was a repeat customer, so to speak.

As you recall with the nuts, I just couldn’t stop. And I really am serious about changing my habits. I do believe that a snack is important in order to keep hunger at bay so I don’t overeat when I have a meal. However, having something like nuts or candy is just an open invitation for me to eat until my heart is content. With the nuts, my attitude was “It’s OK, they are good for me.”

I paid for that attitude.  And realized that snacks should be a single item that once it is gone it is gone. I am thinking like a piece of fruit, some string cheese or a pudding/yogurt cup.

I’m not going to be very popular today and probably for the rest of the week. But that is OK, sometimes we have to remember what is best for us first.

Don’t worry about the possible angry mob — I can handle them and then I will put it in the paper! LOL

I told you I LOVE sweet potato fries!

Well, sort of.

After going to the buffet, and watching myself actually get smaller amounts of food, I wanted to see if I could eat some of my favorites but stop when I felt like I had had enough.

It is a dangerous proposition coming from someone who struggles with their weight and is trying to eat better.

So the test: A Philly cheesetake sandwich and sweet potato fries. I’m a sucker for sweet potato fries and knew this was going to be a very big challenge.

So, the sandwich is a little longer than a six-inch sub. I ate most of it, giving up on the last third of the sandwich. It was just too much food.

And then there were the sweet potato fries…mmm…there were probably 30ish fries in the basket. I didn’t eat half of them…maybe 10, but that number sounds too high. I was really surprised when I moved the basket out of my space into my husband’s. I was done, I didn’t want anymore. I also knew the longer the fries sat there in front of me, the more tempted I would be to eat them when i didn’t them.

I know, I am really surprised that  said no to eating the entire thing. While it wasn’t the food best choice, I still feel proud of myself because I used…what’s the word…self control.

So the experiment was successful in proving that I do have self control. However, I don’t think I am going to try any more burgers or cheesesteaks for a while. I think it can be considered a treat.

More of these and we'd all lose weight

1.) There are lots of choices

2.) There is a salad bar

3.) There is some kind of fruit available

4.) You don’t have to have mashed potatoes or rice

5.) You have more choice of meats — chicken (other poultry), beef, or fish

6.) If there is seafood, there is a choice between fried and not fried

7.) There are steamed veggies

8.) You can pick what is in your salad — so if you don’t want black olives, you don’t have to have them.

9.) You can control your portion size

OK, I don’t have ten,  sorry — I tried.

Mr. X and I took a Tulsa friend to a local establishment for dinner tonight. We picked a buffet that had seafood on it. He is from Tulsa, he wanted to eat some fresh crab.

I was excited about this idea. I knew I would have total control over what I ate. OK, I should explain that because in theory I should always have control over what I eat. I don’t like to waste food — I remember the “Clean Plate Club” from childhood — so I try to eat everything on plate.  So many places, these days, give such big portions that I find myself trying to finish something I don’t have the room for because I don’t want it to go to waste. I know I could take it home, but most times, it would simply sit in the fridge and become a science experiment and I would feel guilty about wasting it.

At a buffet, I can get just what I’m going to eat. Tonight, my worse food choices were probably the candied yams (oh they were good, but I only had three little yams),one little crabcake and some sugar-free cheesecake. I did go back for a second round, but that is just because I wanted a few more carrot chips, one crab leg and some peel-and-eat shrimp that I didn’t get the first go around. Oh, and more pineapple.

See, reasonable choices. My total dinner: piece of baked fish, steamed cauliflower (I think I had two big pieces), some candied yams, salad w/Italian dressing, celery, carrots, some cheese cubes, peel-and-eat shrimp, one crableg, a crabcake, pineapple (I really really like pineapple),  a roll, and a baked oyster.

It sounds like a lot, but I only had a little each…except the pineapple, I had a lot of that.

And you know what, it was one of the few meals this week that didn’t make my stomach cramp.

I am glad this week is over. It has been tough. It was certainly been a challenge to make the right food choices. Most of the week, I did alright until dinner. It was dinner that caused the problems. When I come home, I want something fast and easy. Tonight, it was hot dogs. Wednesday, it was pizza, while it was Chinese take-out on Thursday. I never felt too guilty about it because most of them time I had done well — eating cearal , fruit, salad or a turkey sandwich. All fairly low calorie compared to what I ate for dinner.

I’m going to take some time this weekend to see what I can do to make in advance that will be healthy for some good dinners. I do want to get serious about it.

The weight loss isn’t the only motivator for this move. I have noticed that the month of better eating has made some changes in my body. For instance, if I don’t eat, then my stomach starts to cramp. If I eat something that is kind of greasy, heavy, well, I feel sluggish and bloated. And while the greasy food tasted good to start, it just didn’t sit well and I feel bad…and it does make my stomach feel a little queesy too.

I am going to give cottage cheese the try this week….I got the lowfat kind. It sounded good, something different than my standard salad. I like to put tomatoes and peppers in it…something different…something better for me.