I am not sure why someone would want to try and win this contest, but I guess if you can’t compete being good, be the best at bad. You win.
SAN JOSE, Calif. (AP) — A shambling sentence about screaming seafarers on the sturdy whaler Ellie May stood shoulders above the rest in an annual bad writing contest. David McKenzie, 55, of Federal Way, Wash., won the grand prize in San Jose State University’s annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest with this:
“Folks say that if you listen real close at the height of the full moon, when the wind is blowin’ off Nantucket Sound from the nor’ east and the dogs are howlin’ for no earthly reason, you can hear the awful screams of the crew of the “Ellie May,” a sturdy whaler Captained by John McTavish; for it was on just such a night when the rum was flowin’ and, Davey Jones be damned, big John brought his men on deck for the first of several screaming contests.”
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. (AP) — Two great-grandmothers from Grand Rapids have become state bowling champions. The women are 86-year-old Emma Dausman and 69-year-old Judy Conner. They won a Division 2 doubles title at the U.S. Bowling Congress’ Women’s Bowling Association state tournament.
